Take it With a Grain of Salt
by KowabangaDude
Summary: Little play on the Sailor Moon universe where some of the characters appear as animal versions of themselves in a cute children-like story that goes horribly wrong.
It was all meant to be just a silly fight.

Reiccoon was boasting to her friend about her greatest heist yet: an entire stolen menu of recently prepped food from the nearby Bistro restaurant, and right at peak hour too. The staff was very mad that a wild animal had invaded their kitchen and stolen all their salad, spices, and even some pans with done and half-done meals, but they would not dare have the customers know that a furry intruder had lowered their hygiene standards, and quietly closed the lid on the happenstance…

To celebrate, Foxnako called the entire neighborhood of forest friends to partake in the regal meal; she was so "happy" that her "friend" had pulled such a stunt that she just "knew" that Reiccoon would see the beauty of such a prerogative… eventually, ha!

"Hey, girls, I risked my life to get this you know!?" Reiccoon shouted, waving her arms in the air furiously for extra emphasis.

In vain, as everyone was pretty pleased to eat ahead of their host whose head popped an annoyed little vein as she realized no one felt like giving her due attention. She threw her rump on the ground, crossed her arms and pouted.

"No one here gives me the respect I deserve… You'll see if I'm ever doing anything for you again!"

And again, nobody paid any attention to what she said, except Foxnako, though no one could tell it; she felt her "friend's" frustration was a great spice to her meal.

And so that night everyone was there, except for Usagipillar whom Reiccoon had taken extra measures to dupe into staying on the other side of the forest, not knowing yet Foxnako would simply call everyone else: Reicoon and Foxnako, of course; Finchiusa and Owltaru, the former too busy pecking her food to be her usual sassy self, and the latter quite thankful for it; and the wood's most lovely couple, Snichiru and Snaruka. Those two acted like such an appendage to each other, that when they started softly pecking each other's mouths the rest of the gang just had to grimace at it.

Foxnako voiced everyone's feelings: "Could the abominable couple that declared war on Mother-nature please stop? We're trying to eat, not puke, our food."

Snichiru charmingly faked annoyance, in fact quite pleased that her love was so visible to everyone, and responded: "Now who's being disgusting?" She helped her slithering lover into the ground near the snacks, and encouraged her to feed "But they're right, you should eat now my dear."

"Aww, ok honey. But the only nurture I need is your love." Replied Snaruka, struggling to move towards the plethora of food as fast as she could.

Snichiru blinked her eyes twice and placed her rattle near her face in amusement, like a mother witnessing her child professing its love for her. Everyone else was _not_ impressed though, and Foxnako sneakily opened her mouth and approached her index finger to her uvula to make a point.

"Bleh!" she whispered.

Everyone chuckled softly, even Reiccoon who was not easily amused at her "friend's" antics. They soon dropped their mocking when they saw Snaruka had made it to the center of the cornucopia, spreading her slime everywhere, and everyone grunted.

"Oh darn it, Snichiru! We already told you to keep her from doing that!" protested Foxnako.

"Don't discourage my little athlete, I will not have it!" Snichiru retorted, and it was hard to tell how serious she was about it.

"Humph, you have no respect for somebody else's hard work, right Reiccoon?" she nudged her friend.

"Ohchum, chnowp ychoump munchion me chard chorpk!" Reiccoon grumpily replied amidst her munching of the tasteless cabbage piece she managed to salvage from the leftovers.

"Oh look, cabbage! It's my favorite…" Snaruka mentioned.

It took a short while for Reiccoon to realize that she was in front of her, craving _her_ cabbage.

" _What_ …!? This is my cabbage, _mine_! It tastes like crap but it's all I got and I won't let you take it from me!" she shouted and bared her teeth. But she could feel a poisonous stare coming her way from the right side of where she sat, and she instantly knew its source and broke in sweat.

"It's all I have…" she pitifully protested, almost whimpering.

"Now, now, you can still have everything else on the ground. I know Snichiru slimed most of it, but it's not _that_ bad; she covers me in it all the time, so you can take my word for it." Snichiru dropped her smile and directed an icy stare her way "Now _share_!"

"Snichiru, I already told you _not_ to make us puke." Foxnako pointed out, not empathizing for her "friend" one bit.

"Hey, it's ok Reiccoon. I'm small so I'll only have a little. And don't worry about the mistress she's as sweet as a mint leaf."

"Yeah, you say that because she never feeds in front of you…"

"Gasp… What _are_ you talking about, _my dear_!?" she gave Reiccoon another evil stare.

"…Just gonna keep eating my cabbage here, no problem…" Reiccoon quickly looked back at her food, tearing away the leaves and nervously putting them quickly in her mouth.

"What's up with that foul mood of yours? Are you changing skins again?" Foxnako felt like playing with danger and laughing at death's face, which made Reiccoon quickly throw a shocked look her way.

Snichiru was deeply offended at the tactless question, as it was a very intimate process all snakes went through that she struggled to feel proud of instead of ashamed. But she did her best to hide it.

"Foxnako, sweetie, if I was changing skin you'd be dead now."

"What was that, dear?" Snaruka asked, munching at her tiny little piece of cabbage.

"…Nothing my pudding pie." Snachiro replied uneasily.

Now Foxnako knew she had the viper in her talons "Hey Snaruka, did you ever see Snachiro change skin?"

"Huh?" Snaruka turned her face to face the fox, still munching, slightly curious.

Snachiro flicked her tongue out several times and slightly shook her rattle to send a message, but it did not affect Foxnako one bit.

"Oh yeah, you should see her: she gets all moisty, lots of wrinkles, can't move, can't talk, which is great. Then her disgusting skin starts to slowly peel away and her face gets all swollen as it… ow!" something flew straight into Foxnako's forehead, the first object Snichiru could pick with her tail. Foxnako rubbed the newly formed lump and opened her eyes to look at the foreign object.

"What is this?" she picked the small glass container. She was familiar with the humans' glass, but not the weird white sand inside this one. She held it above her head, then turned it to the side and noticed a small portion of it falling to the ground. She turned the shaker over her mouth and tasted the awful, strong sand that made her mouth dry. She stoically avoided grimacing.

"Hey Reiccoon, this tastes great!"

"What!? Give it to me!"

Reiccoon reached for the glass shaker to grab it from Foxnako, and with a smile on her face the latter didn't make any effort to keep it. Reiccoon closed her lips on the shaker as she turned it over her mouth. She quickly spilled its content on the ground, and breathed heavily through her mouth, stretching her arms outwards.

"…Water… Water!"

Foxnako promptly answered her request by throwing a pan full of water and uncooked soaked pasta at her face, giving her a brand new sticky hairpiece. Reiccoon moved the hanging pasta covering her eyes away with both hands so she could stare menacingly at the source of her hate, who was smiling proudly, none the wiser, and she quickly thrusted her way making the two of them roll over the ground and the food, eventually crushing Finchiusa's soy dish.

"Hey you two morons that was _my_ food!" she yelled.

"You know you flying turd machine, maybe _you_ should be part of the main dish!" Reiccoon noted.

"Shut up, go to hell!"

Owltaru next to her only shook her head. Reiccoon tried to grab finchiusa, and she quickly flew away. Reiccoon stood up from the ground, and exasperated, her eyes red with rage, puffed her chest and shouted:

"This was _my_ food, I didn't invite anyone! Get out, all of you! Now!"

She could feel something funny falling from her head and in front of her eyes, a familiar white sand. She turned around to see Foxnako throwing the contents of the shaker over her head

"Oh c'mon, Reiccoon; take it with a grain of salt!"

"Grrr… GIMME THAT! I'LL MAKE YOU SWALLOW IT GLASS AND ALL!"

She tried reaching for it, but this time Foxnako threw it over to Owltaru, who was utterly surprised.

"Don't let her catch it, Owltaru!"

"Gimme that! GIMME THAT NOW!" Reiccon shouted as she thrusted towards her.

Noticing Reiccoon's mad red eyes and the fumes coming out of her mouth, Owltaru nervously threw the shaker up in the air just to be rid of it.

"You know something Snichiru, I don't care about this whole changing skin thing. I like you anyway, and in my eyes you'll always be beautiful." Snaruka expressed her heart felt feelings, ignoring all the commotion happening next to them.

"Oh, Snaruka…" Snichiru placed her rattle near her heart, and was about to tear up.

It was then a soft thud was heard, and a plastic lid swirled into the ground before it stopped. An insidious coldness crept across Snaruka's back, and she was very scared.

"Snichi, I…" were her last words.

Everything happened too fast for Snichiru to process it properly. Suddenly her partner's face was melting, and like a sudden smack of the body into a hard surface the pain wasn't immediate, but was a sure thing to come.

"Ruka, honey. What's wrong…?" she half whimpered, twitching her right eye.

Soon there was little more than a melted lump near Snaruka's shell, and Snichiru let her tail fall onto the ground like it was lifeless. There was a somber silence all over the place; Reiccoon and Foxnako were still on the ground, eyes bulging and speechless. Owltaru was actually sweating and shaking where she stood, knowing it was her fault, too fragile and unprepared to carry such a heavy burden. And Finchiusa looked in disbelief from the tree branch she landed on after she realized what happened. Nobody knew or could explain what had happened.

Snichiru slowly slithered towards her once found love, and tried picking what was left of it with her tail.

"It's not fair…" she said to herself, staring at the lifeless mass she held, some of it dripping down her skin and back to the ground.

"It's not fair!" she shouted as she looked at everyone and furiously began shaking her rattle.

Everyone knew what that meant, and made a quick getaway as if their life depended on it. For in fact it did.

"I don't understand. We both ate from it, you threw it on my head… Why did Snaruka… die!?"

"Who cares? Bottom line is we know what's going to happen next."

Reiccoon was a survivor, a sneaky one at that, but even she knew running as she did would prove useless without there being anywhere she could hide.

"How are we going to escape, Foxnako? She is never going to let us go, not if I know her! She's… crazy."

"Escape? Honey, I don't have to worry about escaping from Snichiru as much as I have to worry about running faster than you. You and I both know she takes forever to digest, and I need the extra time, love."

Foxnako winked and blew a kiss, and swiftly turned around to disappear into the night forest. Reiccoon was dumbstruck where she stood; her partner in crime had always been an ass to her, but deep down she felt she was trustworthy and even looking out for her somehow. Now she felt the proverbial knife's cut exposing her for the sucker she was. But she couldn't make herself angry about it or hate her, as was typical. No, she felt lonely, abandoned, and scared like she never was before instead, the night never colder. And for the first time in ages she cried. Bitterly.

She was easy prey now.

And she ran, like never before. Dogs and humans had never frightened her half as much as what she was running from this time. The blurry dry leafed paths she ran through soon began to look all the same. She felt she could run all night, and even cross all those five highways which was as far as she ever got from home, and then even further. But, would it be enough?

She didn't even see that large stub protruding diagonally from the ground, and fell head first into the dirt. She raised her head quickly, and felt as if she had been sleeping for hours, even though just a few seconds passed by. Blood was dripping from her forehead now, and it mixed with the tears on her muzzle. This did not help her get any calmer. Part of her just wanted to give up, but her fear of death was too strong. She shook her head and swallowed her tears and moved on.

When she made it to the highway, only a few cars were occasionally speeding over in the dead of night, their sudden light going as fast as it came. She stopped for a rest under the viaduct and leaned over the wall to keep herself from falling from exhaustion.

"You know, I always wondered what you taste like." Breathing hard, Reiccoon still managed to gasp and turned around immediately, pressing her back to the wall. How did she do this!? She saw Michiru's silhouette under the nearest light pole, and in a split second she creeped from her spot to be just three feet away from her, her face being the first thing to come out of the shadows. Her countenance was so natural and sweet it was extremely disconcerting; her resolve was as intense as hell's fire.

"Snichiru…! I'm sorry!"

"Sorry you were caught? It's natural dear. I've been catching prey for years as you know, and their speech always devolves into more or less the same thing."

Reiccoon began sobbing and shaking harder.

"You know, I started hunting at a very young age…" Snichiru teased.

"Think about what you're doing! No one wanted _that_ to happen, we didn't know! I do-don't want-t… S-S-Sunsh-shine… I w-w-want to s-see it ag-ag-ag-ag…"

Reiccoon's stuttering overwhelmed her, and she couldn't talk anymore. Snichiru raised her head and looked attentively as if trying hard to make sense of what she was saying, mocking her, but Reiccoon couldn't even breathe through her nose anymore and had to lower her head. She couldn't cry either even though she wanted, her throat so clogged from hypertension she was almost choking. After a while she finally managed to recover, look up and notice Snichiru was still patiently waiting.

"Are you finished?"

Reiccoon sobbed one more time "I…"

Snichiru's voice finally turned grave and there was nothing sweet about her now.

"You're pathetic! I hate seeing grown animals cry; at least die like one!"

Reiccoon placed her paws on her head and screamed:

"Don't… Please don't do this…! Listen to your heart!"

"My heart?" she smiled again, honestly amused. "Ara, do you really want to live that much?"

"Yes! Please, I'll do anything!"

"Even make Usagipillar take your place?"

"No, never! She wasn't even there! How dare…" Reiccon held her mouth and lost her bravado, realizing she had walked into a trap.

"Yes. How _dare_ you!?

Reiccoon swallowed hard. Snichiru pointed her rattle to the floor, her smile now vicious and her stare provocative "Reach out to my heart then. Get down on your knees and plead for your _miserable_ life."

Is-Is she really giving me a chance, Reiccoon thought. Am I going to live? She looked at Snichiru, and realized that like everything else about her, there were no guarantees.

"Beg for mercy. Show me how little you're worth. Show yourself for the little rodent you really are…"

Reiccoon saw the wrong in what Snichiru was doing and trying to compel her to do, and in one final moment of inner strength and great maturity answered with a soft voice:

"…No, I won't."

"You little sleazeball… Your courage has _earned_ you… this."

Reiccoon finally jumped out of her corner towards Snichiru, much more to fight her own despair than to stay alive. She surrendered to the blood rush, and let the red take over her sight. Her heart was pounding fast, but not wearing her out as before; it was her last stand as a living being, and it felt liberating. She bit Snichiru close to the head, but she bit her back in her right shoulder, and it was enough. Reiccoon still put up quite a fight afterwards, but how do you fight when you're dying inside? After a moment Snichiru slid back and let her thrust and wave her claws at empty air, spinning around, grunting in agony and looking up, desperate that her sight was disappearing. She didn't even feel when she tumbled into the ground. She was barely breathing through her teeth – she had died like an animal.

 _Usagipillar… how I wish I could see you turn into a butterfly. You're… eating again. It makes you so happy, doesn't it? You always knew better… Keep eating, keep eating, keep being innocent… keep… keep… Why are you eating me?_

Snichiru's monstrous mouth had already gorged Reiccoons waist, slowly pulling in the rest of her whole with the constant widening and compressing of her mouth. Her dangling arm was the last thing to go in.

 _Last thing Reiccoon remembered seeing was herself on the ground, and a butterfly pushing her mouth open from the inside and flying away._

Foxnako was inside an old empty silver cargo plane all by herself.

"Oh, hooray! That's more like it! I hope we're going to the Caribbean."

She had a Hawaiian flower necklace around her neck and felt the only thing missing was a cup of coconut water with a straw. Once she noticed the pilot's cabin door was slightly open, she was gladdened to go and make her demands on someone. She was surprised to see Reiccoon there, wearing a commercial pilot hat, the lone animal steering the plane.

"What are you doing here ruining my perfect vacation!?"

"It's not so bad over here, Foxnako"

"Oh no! I'm not going where you're going, I'm out of here."

She pretended it was disgust, when it was really shame that kept her from being anywhere near her friend. She grabbed a parachute, opened the cargo door making the wind blow all over inside, and jumped.

She watched the plane follow its course in the sky as she slowly dived into the earth, her chute already opened.

"Ha ha, Foxnako gets the better again."

She was still giggling to herself when she landed into Snichiru's giant open mouth that was waiting for her on the ground.

"You suck, Snichiru! *sniff*"

Snichiru burped the red lace out.

Foxnako woke up bumping her head into the root of the large tree she had surreptitiously dug a hole under with great care. She made a promise to herself that she wouldn't be part of Snichiru's menu.

Snichiru followed the scent of Foxnako's sickly perfume with her forked tongue. It was faint at first, but it quickly turned stronger. Wearing perfume at all was a habit she had taught the sly fox and that narcissist had embraced the fad the very same day. Now it was serving her quite a handy purpose, but the thought that Foxnako was smarter than that did not escape her. Soon she realized that the perfume seemed to come from all directions, and its overuse was irritating her senses. She had already crossed into the other side of the city taking the long turn around, for she knew only too well any human would love to capture or wipe her out.

On the outskirts of civilization, near another highway, the snake slithered into woods she rarely treaded before. She instinctively turned her head left at one point, and saw Foxnako just sitting in the middle of a clear afternoon field, waiting… She probed the surroundings for any trap as she slowly made her way to the center. She knew the fox would never just give in; she was up to something. But she would never lose her cool or seem worried in front of that rascal.

"Do you really think your gamble is that strong?"

"I know you always took pride in being quite sociable Snichi, but you forgot that you are by nature too slow to get around and meet all _sorts_ of interesting animals as fast as you could."

"Bring all your little friends, critter! I'll put their lives on your tab." Snichiru was worried she had time to alert anyone of what she's done to Reiccoon. She felt she could maybe throw them against the fox if she told them she was responsible for Snaruka's death…

"I'm glad you feel that way! Eubadger you hear that!? That's your curtain call!"

Snichiru winced, and the grass to her left began shaking. Out of it jumped an eccentric badger with red hair tied in two distinct ponytails.

"Snake… Snake… Snake…. SNAKE! Where's snake!? Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

"Well," continued the fox "I wouldn't say _interesting_ but certainly a novelty, eh?" she was leaning on a tree and swinging her tail with her free hand "Meet Eubadger. She's pretty bad- ass. You see, Eubadger don't care. Oh, and guess what…" Minako smiled lovingly before her face contorted into a furious semblance. "She HATES snails! Eubadger, meet food! She's the one placing all those tiny snails on your hole!"

"ARGH! Eubadger hates snails! Snake smells like snail, grr! Eubadger don't give a shit I'm just HUNGRY I take what I want!"

Snichiru knew she was in danger, for even though that bizarre animal did not seem like the sharpest knife in the kitchen it was far too big for her, and too frantic even for her bites to connect.

"Urgh, get away from me you creep!"

The badger began by smacking Snichiru, too fast even for her. She quickly recovered and tried sinking her fangs inside her, but she was running circles around her, always biting, bating and peeling her skin little by little. Snichiru noticed the fox was nowhere in sight; wouldn't she even stay to be sure of the kill? It didn't matter! This wretched Eubadger was not leaving a single opening. She felt almost dizzy at all the turning around, and the pain wasn't helping matters either. In a madcap move she decided to bite the only thing that was always reachable: the badger's mouth. It was like kissing death itself. When Eubadger moved to bite her belly Snichiru threw everything into that one strike. And it worked too well... her face got caught up inside the badger's mouth, between its teeth. But her fangs had penetrated her cheek! She did not let go even though she felt her skull was about to be crushed. That was sure to leave a scar for life on her face…

But it didn't seem to be working! Seeing that the snake that reeked of snails was not letting go, she decided to just lie down on the floor casually and chew bits of her neck out.

 _Why isn't this working…? Am I really supposed to die here, without avenging my beloved after all? Oh, how deplorable… If that is so, I don't deserve to live…_

The physical and mental pain was too much for Snichiru and she began to cry again, after she thought all emotion but fury was dead inside of her.

But the grip of Eubadger's paws around her neck began to loosen up and soon enough the giant rodent fell on its side, breathing heavily. Snichiru was still half blind from the pain, and she knew that this badger was going to wake up soon in spite of the venom, and that she couldn't swallow it even if Minako wasn't prowling about somewhere. Though she ached as if a thousand needles were pinned on her, staying meant certain death, and she had just one chance…

She slid as best she could back into the highway, doing her best to keep her head up to look less groggy and therefore easy prey. She couldn't believe she had made it as far as the human's fence and slid under the nearest hole, picking her spot under a large wooden table amidst the hodge-podge of automobile materials.

"Oh hey Snichi have I caught you at a bad time?" Foxnako stuck her face out from the empty propane tank, as if she's always been there "Snake isn't much to my palate, but you know what that proverb says about serving it cold."

Snichiru was still feeling her wounds, in no position to fight. Pretty damn clever, she thought. Like I didn't know you'd just wait for me to crawl into a hole so I'd have little space to move.

"You're too smart for me, I guess you deserve to eat my flesh."

"Ha, don't try flattering me. I'm not stupid to waste any time on you, you know?"

"How does it feel to leave someone who trusts you behind?"

"Hahaha, great sense of humor! No need to thank me, it was all part of the plan. I wouldn't just _give_ anything to you after all." She produced a piece of knife, something that Snichiru herself had taught her how to use on her meals as part of her project to make her become more "sociable".

"Let's get this over with, shall we?" she urged with an evil light in her eyes.

"Fine. Oh, and Foxnako…"

Foxnako was done talking, and was warming up for attack with quick jabs at Snichiru, but the latter still had enough energy to dodge them and attempt to look menacing by sliding into a coiling position, even though she didn't have the strength to attack anymore.

"You're not to my _palate_ either; if I had paws, I wouldn't touch you with gloves on. You're not even literate are you? To read the sign outside?"

"Huh? You blabbermouth what's this abo…" Foxnako quickly catched up on a detestable scent that only meant one thing: "Dog!"

It was too late, for one loomed behind her and charged her the minute she turned around to look. She quickly ran to the fence, but another dog straight out of hell lounged into her right leg, pulling it with his teeth as he sped by but losing his grip over it just as fast, and she was limping. She wasn't so sure she'd even make it to the fence now but she was still going to try… Too bad a third dog bit her squarely on her left chest. Then a fourth and a fifth dog showed up as well, and they gathered together to secure their share. Snichiru quietly left under the fox's screeches and the growls the dogs made as warning to each other. They were pulling her in different directions with their mouth, and sure enough several of her bone cartilages were teared asunder with the sickening sound of dull cracks leaving no doubt, and portions of her pelt and hair were hurled into the air. The noises of savagery slowly subdued, everyone settling for what piece they managed to get.

"Hey DDs, girls!" the human called out to them "What was all that commotion? C'mon, dinner is served… Oh, what do we got here? Looks like dinner came early today, huh? Hmm, nice pelt! Even though you completely messed it up…" the human picked the larger, main bloody lump of meat that was probably the main body once with a shovel and threw it in a garbage bag, leaving the smaller pieces alone for later. "Maybe it's still worth something… I'll be sure to skin it proper later. Say… it even comes with its own ribbon." he threw it away into the trash bin, one end of it left hanging over the edge "Good girls!"

"So how cold is it in Alaska, Owltaru?"

"Lots. But it's lovely over there too. All the beautiful white, the misty weather…" Owltaru was struggling to contain her tears, desperately trying to find solace in something.

"Lovely? What's lovely about snow? And eating cold for breakfast? I think we should have migrated east."

"Snakes don't thrive in the cold, Finchiusa…"

"It doesn't matter when Snichiru's blood is cold as ice!"

"Will you stop!? I always have to hear you complain! It's not all about you!" She was on the edge of her wits, and wanted to cry "Why couldn't we just ask for help from our neighbors?"

"You kidding!? Snichiru doesn't care about no sentence as long as we're dead by the time she hears the verdict. She probably _craves_ death! Second thing on her list after us."

Owltaru was shaking and sobbing again, and Finchiusa cursed her bluntness.

"Owltaru… I already told you, it was not your fault."

"Of course it was! I threw the glass over Snaruka! Now everyone else is dead…! *Sob*"

"Everyone else is dead because of Snichiru, that devil! It was an accident!" she roared, tired and afflicted still with all that had happened in less than a week. She didn't want to be the strong one here; she never had to before.

"Finchiusa… Snaruka… she…"

"It. Wasn't. Your. Fault! It just happened!"

"You don't understand! She talked to me alone… she said she noticed what a sweet, striving girl I was. She said that despite of my looks, I was a warrior. She wanted to… adopt me…"

Finchiusa was caught by surprise, and didn't think as hard on her reply as she should have.

"That's… loaded, Owltaru. You'd be… In that case, Snichiru would've been…"

Owltaru bawled this time, and Finchiusa was sure now she was just too dumb and shouldn't utter a single word from now on. After a little while passed, she ignored her own good advice.

"… I'm sure Alaska will be great." She offered, but her friend was still crying a little "Who knows, maybe we'll finally find you an oddball friend just like you. A _male_ friend, that is."

Owltaru turned her neck around quickly like she easily could to look at her friend with bulgy eyes, visibly embarrassed.

 _Good! That should do it._ Finchiusa was finally happy with herself.

They kept on flying through the chilly, beautiful cloudy white-teal sky, the snowy hilltops showing on the horizon, safe from any danger down on the ground and thankful for it.

"Aww, I'd almost forgotten how great this is. Why couldn't we do this more often before?"

"You'd always complain about something."

"… I'm such an idiot, aren't I? We had all the time in the world back when those suckers were still…" much to her nuisance, Finchiusa noticed it was her who was crying now "Yes, why couldn't we do this more often!?"

Owltaru felt for her, and raised her wings a tiny bit so the upwind would push her back, just enough to be right to her friend's side.

"You shouldn't be supporting me! You're the one having a hard time! I should be the one doing that!" Owltaru ignored her friend's break out, and continued to stick by her side "I miss them, Owltaru. I can't believe we'll never see them again."

"There, there… We'll fly aplenty from now on." She patted her friend with the tip of her wing, careful not to mess her lifting and throw her off balance. "I know what you mean; it's so liberating isn't it…? You can always forget all your troubles…"

Finchiusa sneezed one last time "Yeah, except when those stupid hawk or eagle bullies are around. Or those hemorrhoid faced vultures! Why can't _they_ die?"

Owltaru sighed and looked down into the earth, saddened.

"I'm sorry we have to live in a world like this…"

They settled for a typical Snow Gum tree with a large hole in it that provided for a comfy living. When they had arrived at first it was inhabited by a grouchy, big mama owl who'd have nothing to do with them, quite rudely hurrying them along their way. By a miracle, when Owltaru kindly begged them to stay with her wide endearing eyes, looking so little, the old owl saw in her the little owlet she lost many years ago. The bitterness in her heart suddenly melted at once, and she finally found relief from the clutches of grief; not even Owltaru expected so much success.

They were invited to make themselves at home, Finchiusa still uneasy, and the old owl looked at the two kindly, feeling they were the next generation now.

"Please, make yourselves at home… Mama owl will take a little trip now and she'd be honored if you'd look after the house for me. Don't feel bound, if you have to leave - though I'd wish you'd keep this tree for yourselves – do so."

"Keep this tree? But…"

She parted, headed far away, finally ready to die elsewhere.

"…You see, Finchiusa, not everything or everyone in this world is bad."

"Yeah, but we're still on the run. Do you really think we should stay?"

"Lightning won't strike twice like this. We'll be hard pressed to find a home elsewhere and we can't afford to stay outside on the snow fields at night."

And they were merry enough for almost a week. The local neighbors were warming up to them; it was easy given the last inhabitant they had to deal with for years. Finchiusa relaxed a little and even played the match maker, introducing her friend to a local quite against her will just like she promised.

"You don't _have_ to like him, Owltaru. Just see how it goes. Once you get good at it your deck will widen, you'll see."

"But I never stayed out so late or left the tree for so long… Are you going to be alright?"

"I'll be fine… Look at you, going out on your first date and already condescending me for not having one of my own."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Haha, just go you bookworm! When you learn the ropes we can try a double date."

And the date was nice enough, if uneventful. When she returned home she was surprised her friend wasn't up waiting for her to ask intrusive questions.

"How was your date, _dear_?" a cynical voice asked.

Owltaru looked across the hole to notice Snichiru's shadowy figure that seemed to be there all along. She was… repulsive. There was a scar on her head that stretched from the back of her head through her eye and close to the cheek. And her chest seemed dilacerated in places, the scars there barely formed. Why didn't she take this opportunity to kill her before she was noticed? But of course; she made a long trip. She wanted to enjoy it…

"How did you… get here?"

"It's not like I have anything else on my mind these days." She answered roarsely "I always told you two you were such a funny pair. Everyone else was bound to notice it too. Animals are such gossipy creatures, don't you think? It certainly helps that you two are _not_ smart enough to _not_ travel a straight line." Snichiru had wrestled the information from the animals that did not willingly share information. One particular old owl was rather _very_ informative…

"Ara, following you was such a pain… Two hawks tried to take me out for an unwilling aerial sightseeing. And this one fellow specimen felt it was his royal right to touch tail with me. Of course, I made him eat his own royal "little helper". Now here I am in this barren land of snow… I _hate_ the cold!"

"What did you do to… Finchiusa?" Owltaru conquered her fear of the answer.

Snichiru moved her coiled tail to her side to reveal she was holding Finchiusa on it. She was breathing heavily, her little chest moving up and down, struggling for air.

All her guilt returned, and her reasonings on why she should forgive herself disappeared.

"You want your friend? Come and take her…" she flicked her forked tongue "She's not gonna live much longer, you know?"

Owltaru hesitated, and shook away her panic to let reason guide her.

"You'll just kill us both, you… you _monster_!"

"Oh, I will… But I'd figure I'd let you see her die in front of you first, like you made my Snaruka die in front of me. Poetic justice, see?"

Owltaru gasped.

"Frustrating isn't it? All you can do is watch... at least _you'll_ have more time to say goodbye than I did." A smile slowly formed on her wrinkled, ugly face "Then again, maybe that's worse, eh?"

"But I'm not a _complete_ monster… You can always turn around and fly away. I'll only give chase when she dies, so the longer you stay the more you waste your head start. Question is, of course, can you really turn your back on her, hmm?" Snichiru cackled softly, even though laughing seemed a thing that had left her soul completely. Then she bared her teeth and produced a malignant smile.

"… This is more than just vengeance… this is… _evil_! Do you think you're making Snaruka happy with this!? Do you think this is what she'd want!?"

"Fool! How dare you mention her!" she howled "Snaruka is gone! Forever! There _is_ no heaven. Only now, and the black void you left in my heart. It craves for retribution; you brought this upon yourself."

"I don't take the blame anymore! You're just a weak coward who could never move on with her life! You think you're the only one who lost someone dear to you!? Huh!? I can't even feel pity for you anymore! My… you made me despise you so much I'm not even afraid of you now!

"Shut up you cretin, you can't get to me…"

"You're tarnishing _her_ memory, and everything the love you two had ever meant and turning it into something profane!" little droplets of tears were forming on the edges of the little saw whet's eyes "Shame on you! SHAME ON YOU!"

"For someone with such a small mouth you…"

"Snaruka wanted to adopt me, Snichiru! What do you think she'd make of you wanting to kill me now instead!?"

"LIAR!"

"I'm sure even Snaruka doesn't love you anymore, and never would if she knew all along you were just a terrible, vicious, _ugly_ snake. That's all you'll ever be, and death will always follow you everywhere; _you_ killed her, Snichiru! It was bound to happen!"

Snichiru's mouth foamed "That's _it_ you little son of a beak! I'm going to cook you alive and eat you limb to limb!

And so Owltaru had got what she wanted. By twisting words and using Snichiru's emotions against her, she made her let go of Finchiusa. There was just the problem of shaking off her predator now…

She dashed out of the tree, Snichiru thrusting after her with a wide open mouth just inches behind her. She tried to balance herself on the Snow Gum branch, and Owltaru quickly shook away the snow on the leaves on the opposite extremity with her wings, making the branch quickly move back up and throwing her predator off balance. Snichiru held on as best she could, but the saw whet made her efforts be for naught as she bravely flew behind her and pushed her tail with her tiny claws.

Good, she was down. But she'd be back up any moment. She entered the tree hole and quickly grabbed Finchiusa, who was still breathing heavily. She flew outside, and Snichiru was already half way up the tree again.

"Oh no you don't!" she claimed, letting go of the tree and falling back into the snow.

A few of the neighbours were awaken by all the commotion, and they looked outside to see what was going on. Noticing their new neighbors were being chased by an intimidating snake well out of season, they turned their backs and pretended nothing was going on. Except one little blue jay, who asked her mother:

"Look, mother. They're being hunted by that awful snake. Shouldn't we help them?"

The Blue Jay mother only pushed her fledgling back inside the nest, and covered him under her feathers.

Owltaru couldn't keep her flight level for long with her friend on her back, and she knew she'd soon fall into the snow. So she gathered all her strength and set her mind on making it to the telephone pole near the human's road, hopping tree to tree to gather her breath. She was also secretly letting her nemesis catch up to them, feeling much safer knowing where she was, letting her think she was trying to wear her out.

When she finally arrived, she tenderly placed her friend on top of the wooden post, and flew and landed on the lowest electric wire. She had a plan: it was this way she had lost her mother at an early age.

 _You may think I'm just a scared little saw-whet, but I too know what vengeance is. Even I am a predator; if I'm destined to go, I'm taking you with me, Snichiru._ She closed her bulgy eyes and took a deep breath. _Please make it, Finchiusa! I'm placing all my love in you. You'll have to carry on and live for the two of us, if you don't mind._

Snichiru was fast approaching, and she lay on the bottom of the pole looking at her targets, her neck standing parallel to it, flicking her forked tongue in and out often.

Owltaru feigned horror when she actually began climbing it, slithering her way up calmly in a spiral - she knew a snake could do it, especially an obstinate one. The sweat coming out of her forehead was real though, for her last moment was near.

She waited, and waited, and waited… When Snichiru was just a few inches she stretched her wing a little to be ready to quickly touch the wooden pole once she received the deadly bite; her timing would have to be perfect…

It was then her body was paralyzed, and hard as she tried, she could do little more than shake. She looked down and saw the cause of her paralysis was none other than Finchiusa, who was holding her stretched wing and feebly supporting herself on her body.

"Owltaru… don't…"

"But, Finchiusa…! why!?"

"You can't die… not you… please… save yourself, leave me behind…"

"Gah!"

While this new delicate circumstance that had developed, Snichiru was still coming by. She reared her ugly head, announcing her arrival with a terrible strong hiss. Finchiusa pushed her friend back, and was set on doing what her friend had planned, quickly turning around.

"Finchiusa, no!"

The falling owl quickly grabbed her friend's wing, and she was surprised to be pulled back to plummet into the snow as well. Snichiru had lounged forward for the kill, and she pulled some of Finchiusa's chest feathers with her bite, but came up empty handed nonetheless. She now lay stuck on the wire in a difficult position, her belly hanging on it making it hard for her to move.

Owltaru opened one eye and saw her antagonist dangling on the cord. And her friend safely under the warmth of her wings, though she wasn't awake anymore. She noticed they had fallen on high snow, and got up, holding her friend in her wings. She tried, but wouldn't even take flight trying _from_ the ground. She could see further ahead over the snow a little though, and settled for a direction. She hadn't made it far when she heard the dreaded thud behind her, and her heart raced again and her fatigue faded like magic.

Pushing through the view-blocking snow with your life on the line was particularly terrifying, but Snichiru wasn't having it any easier with the lack of scents, sense of direction, and having to slither under a pile of chilling snow. Only her willpower and her pain-numbing hatred kept her going. The saw-whet continued trying to see the way ahead with her intervaled hoping, and always looking behind of her. So when she saw the snake find the trail of snow she was leaving behind and follow it with added zeal she began to breathe heavily. The thought that she might become a dead weight like the one she was caring made her panic, and the amount of strength she exerted and the pace of her heartbeat were hazardous to her body and she would feel it later if she were still alive…

But no matter what, she never let go of her friend to fly away. The better part of her reminded herself: _Almost there…_

"Owltaru, let me go… It's too late for me…" a delusional Finchiusa would keep repeating.

Snichiru was gaining on them, just inches away, and was preparing herself to lounge swiftly so she would not have to try again, not knowing how much energy she'd have left. Owltaru's panting had also become muddled cries of despair, which she let out in full force when she did her final hop into the sky. Snichiru lounged hard on them, and missed them when Owltaru actually flew _down_. Before she'd know it she was falling downhill to a snow field a hundred and fifty feet down. Owltaru exerted one final colossal strength by holding her friend with her beak, and quickly gained some lift and flew right from the falling snake and to the nearest safe overhanging cliff she could find.

She let go of the tanager and gave in to her body's begging for a rest, dropping her back on the ground like a wall and laying there with her belly up and her winds spread wide open. Her heart looking as if it was about to shred past her skin and escape. Everything became pitch black instantly.

When she woke up, she had a terrible headache that made it difficult to think, and her body was rigid like a corpse. She tried crawling to her friend, her uncertainty for her making her endure the pain stoically. She thought she had heard her calling her in her deep sleep. Over and over again…

"Finchiusa! Finchiusa!"

"… Owltaru… leave me, save your… self…"

"It's _over_ , Finchiusa. We can go home now!"

"… But, I am home…"

"Finchiusa…"

"It's spring… the colors never seemed livelier. And so many flowers… they're everywhere…"

"Finchiusa… no!"

Owltaru did everything she could to crawl closer to her, even though they were already next to each other. But it was no use, it would take too long for her to reach her.

"Reiccoon and Foxnako were talking just now. Reiccoon was… forgiving her… and Foxnako was crying on her chest… they were… walking to a light… holding paws…"

Owltaru resigned, letting the side of her face fall to the ground, looking dejectedly at the horizon and the first signs of sunrise.

"Finchiusa… this isn't right… you can't go. I'll have nothing left…" She crooned.

"Mama…? Mama is that you? I'm here mama… I…"

 _Why did I even fight? Again, in the end, everything I ever learned to love is dead._

The morning sun was coming out, and its warm rays greeted Owltaru's face. Though it seemed like a cruel joke to her now, she was still taken by the sight for a moment.

She laid there for two days, even after all the pain was gone.

She tried the herculean task of bringing her friend's body with her back home, feeling she'd like to be buried there. Though it was a cumbersome and maybe even pointless task, she had nothing else to drive her anymore. The fact that her friend was beginning to decay didn't bother her, she already had gone through hell. After a few days of hopping between trees and even walking on the floor, a group of tanagers saw her, hurled insults, calling her a sick creep, and then gathered a band to go after her and peck her. Though she was willing to die first before leaving the body behind, she was so badly wounded there just was no way for her to hold on to it. So it was taken from her.

All life gone from her, she licked her wounds for another couple of days. She was malnourished, and refused to ever hunt again. After the long journey was completed, she stood on the spot where the whole debacle had taken place. Other animals had obviously been there and finished any food that was left behind. Amidst the mess of human utensils, her skin crawled when she realized that the shaker was still there. She sneaked up on it, as if it could run away, and quickly grabbed it and held it in front of her face. Her latent terror came out all at once.

"AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh!" she shrieked like a ghost from the other side of life, her whole body shaking involuntarily and making her fall to the ground, her eyes twitching.

She was sure now: this was hell.

But then she had a hearty laughter next, her lungs aching from the overexertion and lack of oxygen, riding her madness for a lack of knowing what else to do.

She heard a crack behind her, and quickly stood up and turned around to point a shaky feather at whoever was coming, her bulgy eyes looking at nothing.

"YOU! Enough is enough; there's nothing left of me to devour! You've had your fill; what, WHAT can stop your hunger!? You are a devourer, devourer of WORLDS!"

She couldn't actually see what she was pointing at; for her, she was pointing at life, or what she knew of it, even if that looked like Snichiru now. Snichiru wouldn't know; she didn't even care to listen. She was just a bloody, beaten, distorted body of hatred.

"You crawl about waiting to take away from the innocent… Murderers and jackals prowling on every corner… Everyone, alert! ALE…!"

Snichiru shut her woes with a quick bite that was meant to swallow her whole, but bit only the upper half of her body instead, spreading her tiny feathers everywhere. She finished consuming her when she raised her head and her mouth a second time to let the body fall down her throat.

"Oh, hey girls. What's with all the commotion? You're having a banquet without me? And you've already eaten everything? Shucks… Can't even think about me for a second, huh?"

Snichiru's eyes suddenly had a fragment of their old sparks back. She couldn't believe it!

"Oh, hi honey. So, what's up?" Snaruka looked around "… Where is everybody?"

"S-s-snaruu…" Snichiru's throat felt terribly coarse; she hadn't said anything in days. It had been as if she didn't have to anymore…

"Yup, that's my name! How you've been?" she finally cared to pay a little closer attention to her love "Err… Michi… what _happened_ to you!? You're all… _mauled_ , and scarred! And your face… it's so twisted and strained… I barely recognize you at all!

"Oh…! I…"

Snichiru belted one of Owltaru's little feathers.

"You're… eating birds again!? I thought you promised me you'd never do that again because of Finchiusa and Owltaru! Snichiru, how could you!? And where is everybody!? Don't tell me you're alone...!"

In one of life's funny little coincidences Snaruka was busy with one of her amorous escapades, and had called her wing woman to take over for her. This friend of hers true calling just happened to be acting, and she loved a challenge…

Snaruka was struck with terror over the huddle of feathers.

"I know these feathers! Snichiru… did you… eat…"

Snichiru's eyes watered, and she bawled soon enough. Snaruka felt sick and puked, and was finding it hard to breathe.

"My God! Snichiru! I've been talking to Owltaru about adopting her! MY GOD I TOLD HER I'D BRING IT UP TO YOU! NO! NOOOOOO!"

Now Snaruka was bawling too. Snichiru was sure she was in hell now.

"H-honey… L-lets die together! We'll find peace that way! And won't have to worry, or remember anything!" she said manically. But Snaruka ignored her last comment, though she didn't ignore the intent behind it.

What is wrong with you!?" "My Snichi would never do such a… such a…" she couldn't finish, and resumed her bawling.

"I… I… thought you were dead!"

"Dead!? But that's impossible… What happened to Vel… err, the me that was here?"

Snichiru answered.

"…Oh God… Oh man… Oh God… Oh man… OH GOD… OH MAN… OH GOD! Now I have a family who'll need me to give them the news! This isn't happening!"

Then another terrible thought crossed her mind.

"What will the others think about Owltaru!? They'll turn you in! You'll be banned… no, much worst!"

"Well… they're all… dead…"

Snaruka finally swooned.

"Ruka, no… don't lie there like that! I can't stand thinking you're dead anymore! AAAAAAH!" she howled into the night, and the rest of it was for her river of tears.

Later on, when Snaruka wakes up, she'll try to quickly dispose of the evidence and pretend nothing happened. As quickly as a snail can, that is.

Snichiru, however, would always know that in the end there was nothing wrong with Haruka; there was something wrong with _her_.

But meanwhile, a silent little Usagipillar was next to Snichiru, using her tears to season her leafs.

"Bitter tears of regret are the best; they're so SALTY!" declared the devourer of worlds.

 _ **FIN**_

"Well, what do you think!?" A jubilant five year old Hotaru asked her parents, adorably expecting the answer.

Haruka and Michiru looked at each other with blank faces, then Michiru looked back at her adopted daughter.

"It was certainly… interesting."

"Aww, just interesting?"

"I told you to not let her read all those Sylvia Plath poems." voiced Haruka.

"Well, I'll _never_ deny my child access to culture. _Proper_ culture, anyway."

"You two are turning this about yourselves again. I worked so hard on it…" her smile was beginning to disappear.

"Sorry dear. I adored your story! I'd never think it was written by someone as young as you."

Hotaru's face beamed "really?"

"Yes, _really_!" stated Michiru, matter of fact.

"What did you think, papa?"

"I, uhh… Look, it's not that… It's just that I don't like people dying, especially when they're meant to be us!"

"Weren't you listening? You didn't die!"

"You sensitized Haruka, dear, that means your story was a success."

"But Haruka-papa is easy!"

Michiru giggled "Yes, she is."

"Stop making fun of me!"

"Think Setsuna-mama will like it?"

"Of course she will. She'll be very proud, like us." Michiru crossed her legs and held her hands together over her lap "Now… what was the lesson of your story?"

"Huh!? Hmm… Salt is bad for your health?"

"Yes, that too. But what else?"

"Hmm… It's only a crime if they find the body?"

"Very perceptive, but I'm thinking of something deeper…"

Haruka was having trouble accepting this was her daughter for a moment.

"You're… encouraging her! Stop that!"

"Why, Haruka. There's nothing wrong with her story." Michiru instantly looked her coldly in the eye to convey the message that stating otherwise would be disastrous, for her as well. But she'd forgotten how her sweetheart's naiveté was quite a powerful shield sometimes.

"Nothing wrong? She's too young to write and _think_ about death like that! I can't believe she killed herself in her story, she should have a little more self-love than that."

"But it wasn't really me…"

"And what was this about a "little helper"? Have you been talking to her behind my back?"

"The faster she's exposed to the world's realities the better, I say. I'm impressed at her ability to catch up on things around her. Especially the part about "amorous escapades"."

Haruka gulped.

 _Good_ , Michiru thought.

"Of course, I agree that she should understand some things on _reasonable_ doses."

"You're turning this about yourselves again…"

" Fine then." She turned her face back to her daughter "Well…? I'm waiting on that answer…"

"Oh! Ah… What do you think, mama?"

"Very well, I was going to say something like "bury your anger, and bury your dead"," she placed an index finger under her chin and looked at nothing "but I feel the real lesson here is "In war, there are no winners: the victorious fall to the knees of the defeated"."

"What about something like, "revenge kills the soul"?"

"Sure, 'Ruka, that's fine too."

Something was bothering Haruka, making her pensive, and she let it out.

"You'd never do something like that, would you Michi? Kill everyone because of me?

"weeeeel…" Michiru placed her hand on her chin and looked up.

"You can't even answer me, can you!?"

"I'm just kidding, dear." She waved her off, beaming.

"That's it, go to your room! No, not you Hotaru… you know what? Good idea! You go too."

"But I…"

"That's ok dear, we can play a little."

"No! _Separate_ rooms!"

"Should I wait for you…?" Michiru asked amorously.

"No!"

"Oh, c'mon Ruka… Take it with a grain of salt."

Hotaru guffawed joyously behind her. And Michiru looked at her out of the corner of her eye, pleased.

"If you don't stop being such a wiseass I'm going to throw away all the salt in this house!"

"C'mon my little writer, let's give your papa a moment to take it all in. She's had enough emotions for a day… why don't you go hug her?"

Hotaru rushed her direction and hugged her legs with such force it almost shook her.

"It's ok, papa, no one is hurt. It was just a story."

Haruka grabbed her adopted daughter and held her in front of her. And it was difficult for her not to smile. Then she handed her to Michiru who carried her away.

Hotaru waved her goodbye over her mama's shoulder from outside the study room "Bye, papa. Don't be upset, it was just a story." She repeated.

Haruka crossed her arms and looked down, but once they were gone upstairs she allowed herself to smile and shake her head.

Then she looked disheartened again and dropped her arms.

"But why did I have to be a snail?"


End file.
